SESSA ANSWERS FAQs
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1) You have a very intriguing name. What does it mean in Portuguese?
Not Portuguese, Italian; nor am I sat on (or not often, you Latinists). I am named for the famous 16th-century family of Venetian printers whose device, or logo, changed many times over the years but (almost) always included the image of a cat and a mouse. Sometimes the cat is watching the mouse, sometimes it chases or toys with the little beast, sometimes it carries it in its mouth. In my favorite cut, only the tail of the mouse remains visible . . .
2) How about pictures? Naked pictures?
All my pictures (so far) have been taken nude, but I would never pose naked. Always I'm clothed in dignity, and I've been negotiating with the people who supply the firm's workshirts on the details of a special order waistcoat — blue striped oxford cloth, "Sessa" over the pocket, and a sufficiency of limb-holes. When this arrives, I can stop wearing David's fish tie.
3) C'mon . . . Could you at least provide your dimensions?
Oh, all right. About 32 inches paws to tail at full stretch, 12.5 inches in diameter when curled. I weigh 7 pounds, though in the Summer quarter my domesticated humans claim to COMB at least that weight in hair from me daily. (They also claim to be knitting a kitten, but one shouldn't believe this — it's just their naive, rather lovable humor.) Thanks to certain gestures and remarks of mine that may have given them the idea that I was starving in the mornings at 8:00 . . . 8:30 . . . 8:50 . . . 9:00 . . . 9:10 . . . AND 9:20, I was gaining weight for a while — but they (finally) put their heads together and realized I was getting a fresh breakfast from each human PRB&M'er as s/he arrived here.
Pandering further to questioners' obsessions with the physical, I will note that I keep fit thanks to a daily exercise program developed and pursued with the assistance of my in-house personal trainers. Key elements are chasing the red "DOT" emitted by a laser-pointer across carpets, into corners, up walls, and down stairs; jumping on and off Wendy's lap; and, when the doorbell rings, running downstairs to greet people I know or running upstairs to the attic office to avoid people I don't.
Until he left PRB&M for the green fields of Conshohocken, my passive workouts with trainer Rhyno involved such creative moves as The Staple Gun, The Stamp Pad, RotoKitty, and TurboPet 2000. Onlookers were astonished, but my appetite for these vigorous calisthenics was endless — and the hiring search is still on, for the special individual who can fill the bill as successor workout partner.
4) What are your hobbies?
5) Are you related to that pony on the partners' page?
Smile when you ask that. A horse is a horse, of course, of course; and a cat is simply superior.
6) What was your most exciting adventure?
Let's just say that David has declared, "If I ever write my memoirs, the title will be Bibles in the Bathroom, The Cat's in the Furnace!"
7) Which one of the junk computers belonged to you?
ALL of them belonged to me. My humans don't always understand it but —EVERYTHING here belongs to me . . .
8) Any plans for more cats at PRB&M?
No more cats are needed here. I am sufficient. And my people DO know better than to introduce change into an already perfect universe!
9) How can you be contacted for further questions/comments?
You can write me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Faxes should go to the general number with my name in the "To:" space. I answer my mail faithfully — and AS SOON as I can find a helper with keyboard-compatible paws!
"Hey YOU! You lookin' at MY books?!"
That's GOOD! And I thank you!
Now please visit my
Sessa & Friends
[feline friends only here]
You can also:
the HUMANS' Photo Album . . .
Or go to PRB&M Home . . .
FINIS — FELIX